Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I Ain't Settlin'

Most mornings I begin my day by logging into the almighty Facebook, sending out birthday greetings, reading my comments/mail, and leaving a comment or two for friends.  More often than not, I also post a quote as my status message to begin my day.  Yesterday I posted the following quote "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for".   That seemed to strike a chord with many of my friends. When I returned home last night and found more messages pertaining to that quote, I pondered it for a while. 

I noticed immediately that most responses to the quote were in terms of how that applied to a relationship.  While that may be the first thing that comes to mind for most, I saw the quote in a much broader spectrum when I first read it.  While I have also had a relationship where I felt like I "settled" for less than I deserved, I've come to think of that term in innumerable aspects.  How many people work in a job that they don't find fulfilling or rewarding, but have "settled" into a job making more money?  How many times have you "settled" for a supporting role or position because you allowed fear to keep you from pursuing something you deemed more substantial?  The list is multitudinous, as are the reasons we "settle". 

Personally speaking, I know that I have "settled" for a variety of reasons.  I've not pursued dreams I had for myself for fear of failure.  I've given up or "settled" for roles that I thought were less than I deserved because of other's perceptions of my abilities.  I've "settled" in relationships because of conditioned expectations.  Various were the reasons, but each time I talked myself into those beliefs.  Fortunately, as I've aged and grown in my experiences, I've also gained wisdom.  I resolved that my goal in life is to measure my success on my own terms and never to acquiesce to others' expectations.  I made a vow not to settle for what is easy or what is expected, but to live fully in each moment and do what makes me happy. 

I work in a job that doesn't pay well and carries little prestige, but I am happier than when I worked in positions of more authority and bigger titles.  I've been offered positions making substantially more money and refused them because I know I wouldn't be fulfilled or happy.  I enjoy what I do, therefore I don't mind going to the "job" daily.  I never have a relationship for the sake of having one, as women are often conditioned to do.  I only involve myself with someone because they truly make me happy and we are compatible.   I no longer shy away from living fully as myself, instead of what people think I should be.  I embrace who I am and don't settle for the ideas others have for me.  When I made the vow not to "settle" any more, I found a certain freedom from the "ties that bound me" and a happiness I never knew existed. 

These lyrics from a song by Sugarland called "Settlin'".  What a wonderful way to think ! 

I ain't settlin' for just getting by
I've had enough so so for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
Just enough ain't enough this time

Do you "settle" for too many things or have you in the past?   What are your reasons for doing so?  If you broke free of those patterns, how did you do it?   Let's talk about it. 

Monday, November 15, 2010

Quick note

Once upon a time, in a land that seems far away, I blogged on a semi-regular basis on Myspace.  I realized recently that I have missed that forum to some degree.  I never wrote for anyone, but more as a respite from the world at large.  Little did I know that I would find a lot of pleasure in writing, nor did I realize I would gain a lot of friends in that forum.  So, with a little more time on my hands these days and certain people encouraging me to start writing again, I've decided to jump back on the "blogging bandwagon". 

There will be more to come soon.  Here we go.............