Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Wild Women Do.....

Wild woman.  Bimbo.  Cougar.  Barbie.  Slut.  A variety of labels.  Some more degrading than others, but labels nonetheless.  What do they mean and why are they randomly thrown about?  Who decides whether these are appropriate and who is deserving of such a label?  Why do women seem to be subjected to more labels than men, even by their own gender?    Which one would you give me.... or would you label me at all?

I've heard things that have been said about me, but the two labels that seem to have been tied to my wagon the most frequently are "wild woman" and "cougar".   I don't find the term "cougar" flattering and I certainly don't wear it as a badge of honor, although if someone else chooses to do so, I have no problem with that.  First of all, I don't see myself that way at all.  I do not pursue (and am not interested in pursuing) men way younger than myself.  My daughter will tell you tho', I seem to draw the 20-something crowd.  They seem to seek me out, NOT the reverse.  In another aspect, it annoys me because of the double standard that exists.  If a woman seeks a much younger man, she is called a cougar.  A man, however, is not only EXPECTED to pursue younger women, but celebrated when doing so.  That same double standard seems to apply with sexual patterns/behaviors.  If a woman has sexual relations with many men, she is a slut.  A man is applauded, sometimes even rewarded and celebrated, for the same type of behavior. 

I had a friend in high school that was labeled a slut.  She was tormented, talked about, teased, and truly bullied.  Her life was a living hell for several years.  She changed schools, her family changed phone numbers, and they eventually moved.  People accepted that label of my friend at face value because a popular football player started it.  Interestingly enough, my friend was a virgin until she married. 

What about the Wild Woman label that is so often attributed to me?  What consitutes a "Wild Woman"?   I enjoy life.  I live it to the fullest and I know how to have fun.  Why does that make me wild?   I am judged on what people PERCEIVE me to be doing versus what I am really doing.  I am NOT permiscuous.  I DON'T drink a lot.  I DON'T do drugs.  I may occasionally break a minor rule or law (i.e. speeding), but under most circumstances, I am a law abiding citizen.  Have I danced on table tops?  You betcha (and completely sober too)!  Do I sometimes spend time with people half my age?  You bet I do!  Do I enjoy a variety of music and go to (*gasp*) concerts?  Bet your boots I do!   Is that wrong?  Does it make me wild?  If that is the case, call me WILD!!  :-)

Why do we have to label people?  Do you accept labels at face value or do you try to get to know a person as the individual they are?  I admit, I have been guilty of things like this in my past, but as I've aged and hopefully matured, I have learned that much of the time, a person is NOT what many people perceive them to be.  One of the most remarkable things in the world to me is the person who is UNIQUE.   Who wants to live in a world where everyone is the same?  BORING!    Let's try celebrating our differences!  

I am unique!  I am an indivdual.  I am ME!   I might be a WILD WOMAN....and that's okay with me !  :-)


  1. I see a lot of labeling--and the funny thing is that most of it is not only aimed at women, it comes from women. Men don't seem nearly as likely to look down on someone for their life choices (except for their exes, of course...) as we women do. Odd, I think, especially since quite a few members of our gender talk the talk about the importance of acceptance and the danger of stereotyping.

    One very nice thing comes with maturing: we take what others think in stride and rely on our own inner compass to decide whether or not we're doing alright. If I could bestow one gift upon young women, that would be it--knowing that you need only to answer to yourself and your God (or whatever you might call that light within).

    I was that weird kid that never gave a rat's patootie what anyone else thought, and it has made my life much easier. I think for a lot of people (and I'm sure some of it comes from our upbringing), it can take decades of self-doubt before the notion that people can think whatever they want and it makes no difference, really kicks in.

    Nice post! :O)

  2. I think we need to celebrate ourselves and each other, especially women. :D Glad I found you here - heard it's where all the cool kids blog now!

  3. When meeting someone new its necessary to make an assessment of that person. Its how we find compatibility and how we make smart choices. Even assessments that are critical are valid (but should probably not be widely shared with others.)

    Where that assessment turns into a label is when we don't know that person but chose to type cast them anyway. Labels are motivated by fear, spite, insecurity, and envy. They unfairly categorize people and reduce their complexity and diversity into a single prejudice.

    Maintain your self assurance and be free of the limited minds that rely on labels. Enjoy life and bee yourself and let the tags fall where they will. (sometimes easier said than done)

  4. @ Beth: This was sparked by a comment that a friend of mine made to me. She said something to the effect that she wished she could be as "wild as me". She then clarified by saying that she wished she was more like me as far as being adventurous. It was on my mind, so I started typing, but was trying to do four hundred things at the same time, so it isn't well written. Oh well !!

    Like you, I find it very sad that people feel it necessary to label each other, but I HATE that women really seem to tear each other down. Much of that comes from insecurity, but how wonderful it would be if we all tried to REALLY get to know each other as individuals without labels.

    Good for you for always be individual and not caring what others thought! That is something that I think we should "teach" to children as they grow up. What a difference that would make!

  5. @ Cherie: I sort of missed the blogging and am slowly getting back into it. ;-) I LOVE the idea of everyone celebrating each other. Fortunately we are part of a group that embraces that philosophy. :) xoxo

    @ Mark: One of my most enlightened friends. Always enjoy your comments and perspective and I believe you hit the "nail on the head" in this case. Most of the labels are given without any true knowledge of who a person really is. The sad part is that the person "assigning" a label is probably missing out on an opportunity to build a wonderful world around them and get to know really interesting people, but they miss that opportunity by casting a judgement about someone they don't know.